The Wedding

Today, we have lost the depth of stories and rituals.  We do things without understanding of why and so many things are instant and shallow.

With that, sex has been reduced to a basic, animalistic instinct, marriage is archaic and 'till death do us part becomes 'till I don't "love" you anymore (or someone else comes along).

I want to show you a different way.  One of depth and richness.  One full of symbolism and layers.  One that truly comes alive.  The Jewish culture gets this.  Here is their way (and something we could learn greatly from):

(Side note:  This is not exhaustive of the practice, just an overview)

Imagine you were back in ancient Israel.  There was a young Jewish man that became of the age to be married.  In that day, marriages were arranged; so the father of the groom sent one of his most trusted servants out to look for the right young bride for his son.  One day the servant came back with just the right young lady in mind.  At once the father of the groom went to meet with the father of the potential bride.  There were intense, long discussions and negotiations.  Finally, (after the father of the groom was assured she was a virgin) a price was determined for the bride-to-be.  The price was steep.  The price usually determined was comparable to a new house price for us today. ($200,000) A high price was customary as the father of the bride was losing a worker and the father of the groom wanted to show how much they valued the young lady.  Once this was agreed upon, the young man and woman were considered"betrothed".  Both parties would share a cup of wine to seal the covenant.  This was as good as married with a covenant sealed relationship minus the physical consummation.

The groom would then go away in order to add a room to his father’s house. It usually took a year or two, but the actual time was determined by the father.  During this time, the bride would prepare herself, waiting for her groom to come with great anticipation working on her wedding gown.   It was when the father said that things were ready when the groom would surprise his bride and bring her back with a great processional.  This was usually done late at night and the silence of slumber was broken by the sound of the shofar.  Great joy, shouting and dancing would fill the streets.
The bride and groom would then be escorted to their bridal chamber (or addition that was built) for around 7 days to physically consummate their marriage.  Two witnesses were standing guard outside until the time period was over and a great celebration and feast ensued.


I don't know about you, but to me this is beautiful.  It is rich.  It has meaning and depth.  There is symbolism for our relationship with Christ spread all through out this ceremony.

This is done ON PURPOSE.  With intentionality.  Everything had meaning.

After all.  Two become one.  This was more than two people tying the knot.

THIS IS SPIRITUAL.     MARRIAGE IS SPIRITUAL.

It is not two humans deciding they like someone and want to "give it a go".  It is two people uniting as one, sacrificing for each other with Christ at the center.  And realizing the burden and exciting privilege of being the closest reflection on earth of Christ's love for us, his bride.

There is a covenant that is made between two people and God.  Between two fathers, and a blood covenant in the bridal chamber.  One that binds the two and cannot be separated.  Two become one.

There is a big deal of the consummation of the marriage by physical intercourse.  It is set apart.  Waited for.  Given time for enjoyment and meaning.   Virginity is sacrificed, blood is shed, a covenant is sealed.

True joy is known.

DO YOU SEE THIS!?  This is POWERFUL!!  LIFE CHANGING!!  And I'm not done.
Tomorrow, I want to talk more about this blood covenant in the consummation of marriage.  This "seals" the deal ;-)

You don't want to miss this.

Worth The Wait? Why waiting for marriage to have sex is so important.

Not too long ago I had the opportunity to give the weekend message called "God and Prostitutes" at Van Dyke Church.  In the message I talked about the Covenant (not to be confused with a contract) relationship of marriage in comparison to the Covenant relationship between Christ and us.

In that message the core scripture I used was Ephesians 5:25-32.  In it, it talked about the love of a husband for his wife (giving up his life for her) and how it says that "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two become one."  It is a great mystery, but an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. (Italics my addition)


While it IS a mystery and always will be how this two-become-one thing works, there is a strikingly clear message that is being told through stories and scripture that we absolutely NEED to understand.

Let's start unraveling that mystery, shall we?

To begin,  this is what we know:

• Sex is good.  Genesis 1:27-28, Proverbs 5:18-19, Song of Songs (The whole book pretty much..and rated R)

• Sexual relations are meant to be inside the covenant relationship of marriage .  Genesis 2:24,  1 Corinthians 7:2-3, Commandment #7 of the Ten Commandments, Hebrews 13:4, plus many more.

You and I, however, know that throwing a bunch of scripture at teenagers rarely does a lot of good.  They give the "glazed" look, the eye rolls.  In their minds, thinking "This is so outdated!"

That response is met with our response of "Oh, they are just being kids."  And we move on.

NO.  

This is dangerous.  Now, more than ever, I am convinced we need young people to understand the dangerous and pain-filled road they will to walk down if they don't get this right.

How? You may ask.

Tomorrow I will be discussing the whole idea of marriage through a near-eastern Jewish lens and tradition saturated in symbolism that is relevant today. 

 It's a great story of love and intimacy.  I love great stories.  Because great stories speak.  And this one?  This one speaks volumes.

Reformation at 40.

• In January I turned 40.  

Funny thing, I for the first time realized what so many older people talk about.  The fact that they in their mind don't feel their age, but their bodies do.  I keep attempting to do physical things that a 20 year old would do (jump off the side of a house) and realize my body just won't take it anymore.  Sigh.

That has pretty much nothing to do with my post, however.

I was sitting on the couch one night after everyone had gone to bed and was thinking "Wow.  I am 40.  That used to seem so old.  But in reality my life could very well be 1/2 over."

At that moment, God chimed in.  And this is what He said:

"So I know what you have done with your last 40 years.  What are you going to do with your next 40?"

I sat in silence.

Then.  Emotion.

What is THAT supposed to mean!?  Did you just throw me under the bus for the last 40 years of my life?  Honestly, that was my first thought.  God just threw me under the bus for the way I have lived out my last 40 years.  But the more I thought about it I realized it was less that and more a calling to a reformation of sorts.

If we look at our lives and truly allow God to work through us, there will be points to where we are able to put stakes in the ground to look back on.  Times when we have made a hard shift in what and how we believe and our faith.

Mine have so far come:

• July 1990 when I became a surrendered follower of Jesus Christ.
• Sometime in 2004 when I came to understand GRACE.
• May of 2007 when I realized God isn't safe (and my life shouldn't be either..move to Fl).
• January of 2012 when I finally started to get my footing here in Florida.  Oh, what?  THERE you are God.  You ARE faithful.  Thanks for leaving me hanging out there for the last  4 YEARS!  OK, maybe not that bad.  But the last 4 years sure have been an adventure!!  (Put "adventure" in google and hit enter.  Wikipedia should come up and read what it says in the search results)

So at 40, God is calling me to a new season.  One that is more bold.  One of fresh renewal.  One that pushes the boundaries.  

There is a fire stirring in this tired, seasoned body Lord.  

Do. Your. Best.