The Poison of Comparison

There it was.

I read the words and I felt that burn in my stomach.

Insecurity crept in like a fox.  Sly and almost unnoticed.  Until it pounced.

It had been happening for some time.  Anxiety, worry, unsettledness.
Stress.

I had begun second guessing my decision, my relationships, my work.  Am I good enough?  Should I be doing this?  Is this the right?  I am just going to fail.  SOMEONE will figure out I am a fraud.  I don't have what this person has.  I can't do that.  They think THIS (fill in the blank) of me.

The voices in my head rolled on and on.  Day after day.  Week after week.

Finally one night,  standing at the island in my kitchen,  God spoke.

STOP IT!

Wait. What?

STOP.  NOW.

In a flash,  I was shaken out of the world I was living in and brought back to reality.  God's voice in my head immediately spoke truth.

"You have allowed the enemy a foothold.  And that foothold is the poison of comparison."

It seemed so small.
A nudge to stay on your game.  Watching Facebook to see what everyone else is doing so I could plan my moves and make necessary changes to stay sharp.  Reading the books of those that have made it big.  All seeming to give glory to God.  So what was so wrong?

Soon the words I would read planted seeds of doubt instead of faith.  A small whisper of "You can't do that.  You don't have what it takes" started settling in as the overtone of my thoughts as I watched what others were doing.  Pangs of insecurity became more constant.  Sleep became more fleeting.

I. Felt. Horrible.

It is amazing how Satan is so good at luring us into the darkness.  The drive for success and what is good can so easily go sideways.  Truth gets lost.  What you DON'T have becomes center stage.  What you do have becomes minimized.  And you go down the rabbit hole.  A slippery, dark journey to defeat.

It's not just in the determination to "become better" that this happens. It happens when you look in the mirror…see the gray hair (loss of hair), wrinkles, the sag here, or there..  And watch the commercials that tell you "this" will make you happy.  It's when you look at how the "Jones" live.  It's the car someone else drives.  It's the house they have.  It's the weight they don't have. You name it.  Satan will use it against you.

That is why this scripture is so important:

2 Corinthians 10:5

5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

How easily I forgot this. Don't we all from time to time?
When you hear those whispers (or screams) that lie and attempt to drag you down into that dark, defeating dungeon, remember 2 Corinthians 10:5. Then combat those lies with truth.

1 Peter 2:9 

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

Colossians 2:13-14 
When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross.

2 Corinthians 5:17-21 
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us.

Ephesians 2:10

For we are God's masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He has planned for us long ago.

YOU ARE UNIQUE. NO ONE has been created to do EXACTLY WHAT YOU CAN DO.

This world needs you. It needs you at your very best. Take every thought captive. Live in the reality of the truth. Allow yourself to be poured out for His Kingdom. And just wait. This life. YOUR life.. will be better than you ever dreamed.


Guaranteed.

Worth The Wait? Why waiting for marriage to have sex is so important.

Not too long ago I had the opportunity to give the weekend message called "God and Prostitutes" at Van Dyke Church.  In the message I talked about the Covenant (not to be confused with a contract) relationship of marriage in comparison to the Covenant relationship between Christ and us.

In that message the core scripture I used was Ephesians 5:25-32.  In it, it talked about the love of a husband for his wife (giving up his life for her) and how it says that "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two become one."  It is a great mystery, but an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. (Italics my addition)


While it IS a mystery and always will be how this two-become-one thing works, there is a strikingly clear message that is being told through stories and scripture that we absolutely NEED to understand.

Let's start unraveling that mystery, shall we?

To begin,  this is what we know:

• Sex is good.  Genesis 1:27-28, Proverbs 5:18-19, Song of Songs (The whole book pretty much..and rated R)

• Sexual relations are meant to be inside the covenant relationship of marriage .  Genesis 2:24,  1 Corinthians 7:2-3, Commandment #7 of the Ten Commandments, Hebrews 13:4, plus many more.

You and I, however, know that throwing a bunch of scripture at teenagers rarely does a lot of good.  They give the "glazed" look, the eye rolls.  In their minds, thinking "This is so outdated!"

That response is met with our response of "Oh, they are just being kids."  And we move on.

NO.  

This is dangerous.  Now, more than ever, I am convinced we need young people to understand the dangerous and pain-filled road they will to walk down if they don't get this right.

How? You may ask.

Tomorrow I will be discussing the whole idea of marriage through a near-eastern Jewish lens and tradition saturated in symbolism that is relevant today. 

 It's a great story of love and intimacy.  I love great stories.  Because great stories speak.  And this one?  This one speaks volumes.

Well hello there, God. Didn't see you there.

The future seems vague and life piles on. The truth becomes dusty and the battles rarely won. It seems pain is reality and while you forge ahead, each step seems distant and walking is like lead (the metal, duh). The battle rages around you and you scarcely know its toll. Until one day you wake up and feel dull in your soul. Where do you turn from here, what in the world is to be done? Put on your armor. There is a life to be won.

Well, I didn't plan on writing that. God used to allow me to write small poems back years ago, but its been at least 10 since I have. It just came out in a matter of 5 minutes, and I feel it helps to encapsulate where I have been. So. Thanks God. (And Nick Williamson for reminding me that God used to speak to me in poems as well)

This last week in North Carolina was a very wonderful and refining time (not always so wonderful). While I went int to the week physically prepared for what was to come, I didn't head into it mentally or spiritually prepared. I came to remember that these are weeks that God gets my attention on things that I have pushed to the side and He won't let me shove them off any longer. It is great and painful all at the same time.

It came clear in retrospect that I was not pushed to my limit once physically on the trip. I always could have gone more. But the telling point for me was this:

I was standing near the top of the 60ft tower climb and in front of me were 2 ropes with knots. I was told to jump out (a long ways in the air), grab them and climb by Brian (counselor and belayer..guy who has me anchored and roped). I stared at it as it was not my intended route to the top. He yelled "You can do it" and gave a hard tug on the rope that almost sent me off the side. I remember shooting him a look and turning around to take the log pole up the rest of the way.

Thus encapsulates much of my week. And my teachable moment.

I could have, and SHOULD have jumped. Even if I slipped, Brian was there. But I mentally caved and took an easier route. I justified it by telling myself I still took a "harder" route.

But I missed the real challenge.

I look back at that as my defining moment of how I lived the week. Always within my control of what I knew I could do. Keep everything within my control. No risk, no looking like an idiot.

Wow.

And the whole time a war was raging inside to push, push, push and break that. While I resisted, fought and acted like a little kid.

Needless to say, much will be taken from this trip. I am grateful for the conversations that challenged me and the lives that were touched this week. I cannot wait to go back and live this week differently next year.

But most importantly, I know how I am going to live THIS adventure, THIS life. I am ready to live intentionally and on purpose. Fear will not rule. I will jump for the rope.

I don't want to miss a minute of what God has in store.